七宝奇谋（国语版）

From the ’80’s nostalgic arcade, Richard Donner’s THE GOONIES is scripted by Chris Columbus from Steven Spielberg’s story, who also moonlights as its hands-on producer, so, a juvenile iteration of Indian Jones-esque treasure-hunting adventure is close to the mark, and it is also the main influence of the Duffer brothers’ Netflix hit show STRANGER THINGS (2016-).

After a rumbustious opening to corral the “Goonies” together - a coinage by the school-aged Mikey (Astin), whose members also include Chunk (Cohen), Mouth (Feldman), and Data (Quan), respectively impersonating the stock characters of “the chump”, “the (bilingual) motormouth” and “the (gizmo) geek”, whereas Mikey shows goodly mettle as its leader, an ancient map is serendipitously discovered in Mikey’s family attic, which instigates his intent on seeking out the hidden treasures left by legendary pirate “One-Eyed” Willy centuries earlier, and it is also conveniently imperative because this seems to be the last chance to save their homes from the impending foreclosure, which is due the next week.

The Goonies’ weekend journey is soon joined by Mikey’s elder brother Brand (Brolin), cheerleader Andy (Green) and her wallflower friend Stef (Plimpton), after they infiltrate into a coast-side derelict restaurant which also serves as the lair of the Fratelli crime family, a secret tunnel in the basement will in time lead them to the whereabout of the treasures galore, with the Fratellis closing in on them and a few booby traps to impede their pursuance.

Persisting a white-knuckled pace from A to Z, THE GOONIES is fully aware of its ingrown ludicrousness and inconsistency that it cannot risk losing its momentum of thrills and chills, and on this regard, it has done a remarkable job, also, as a family-friendly fare, it doesn’t necessarily steer away from the macabre, craniums and skeletons are constant scream-inducing props and a deformed strongman-bozo in the shape of Sloth (Matuszak) gives this reviewer quite a startle at first, however, the story shows its well-intentioned felicity to bring a heartwarming twist to defy our preconception about monstrosity.

The young cast’s performance is uniformly engaging and occasionally hilarious, Astin is especially earnest and precociously sagacious in his screen debut (no wonder he created such a hoopla by guest-starring in the second season of STRANGER THINGS), Feldman cunningly exhibits a savvy aptitude that makes an impressive entrance but is mostly underutilized when the cat-and-mouse chase begins, but it is Cohen who is saddled with the most grueling task of acting in the face of incessant grotesque, hectoring and menace, which he pulls it off magnificently without losing his funny bone.

Grownups have less meatier parts to play, save for Anne Ramsey, as the formidable Mama Fratelli, she huffs and puffs imperiously towards her two nebbish sons (Davi and Pantoliano), a soupçon of racist typecasting aside (Italians are criminals by nature?), she really cannot suffer gladly both fools and brats on an equal measure.

referential entries: Donner’s SUPERMAN (1978, 6.6/10); Chris Columbus’ PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF (2010, 4.2/10); Steven Spielberg’s INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984, 7.2/10).

比迈克尔·杰克逊到你家借用厕所还要惊人？ 比你从疗养院火灾中救出许多老人还要惊人？ 比你吃下与体重相等的披萨还要惊人？ “好”就是我的中间名。 为了让你入睡，爸爸什么事都做。 你一有预感，我们就有麻烦。 “他为什么骑着童车？” “难怪他考不到驾照。” 这里可是避暑胜地，怎么会在秋天开张？ 毒贩从不穿便宜货。 我觉得自己就像一个没工资拿的保姆。 再这样走下去，我们会走到中国的。 我的愿望并没有成真，所以我要收回投到这许愿池的硬币！ 呆子帮从不说“死”！ 我受够骷髅和坠落了！ 独眼威利，你是呆子帮第一人。 “如果你不说脏话，你的声音还是蛮好听的。” “如果你不摆臭脸，你的脸蛋还是挺漂亮的。”