阶梯之间

我只想随便写下，短评太短，讨论还要加群好麻烦。可也谈不上笔记。

法医的这段对话真好。

摘抄《无法还原的象》：

真理需要小我，需要我们这些抱有成见的凡人。真理需要人。还用海德格尔的话说，“惟当此在存在，才有真理”。[81]以真理的存在为前提，并非一开始不抱成见。倪梁康说：“每个人都有偏见，或多或少而已，这是在探索真相的过程中无法避免的。”这么说虽不错，但口气不太适当，我是想说，只对那些抱有先见或成见的人，真理才会彰显。若把此在解释学中的Vorhabe理解为消极的东西，理解为人人都难免有偏见，这就错失了要点：成见对真理具有积极的构成作用。真理是一种克服，是对我们的成见的克服。海德格尔说，真理须争而后得。不是像宝藏那样藏在金银岛，我们互相争斗以夺取它，最后占有它；而是，真理和我自己的成见作斗争，真理在克服我们的成见之际展现自身。没有我们的看法，真理就无从显现。我在这个意义上理解维特根斯坦的话：“人们一定是从错误开始，然后由此转向真理。……要让某人相信真理，仅仅说出真理是不够的，人们还必须找到从错误到真理的道路。”

——

想起来，有时候大家针对网上新闻事件的讨论。有自认“客观”的人，等一个反转、我不相信任何一方、事实肯定不会这么简单、两边都有错、人都是自私的......

想想这些话为什么那么难看/难听，除了对陈词滥调的厌烦；也是因为他们既不关切，还说自己冷静客观，别人都是感情用事的凡人。

第八集 //www.douban.com/note/832854114/?_i=5308678Mga-wyJ

第七集 //www.douban.com/note/832433279/?_i=4199256Mga-wyJ

第六集 //www.douban.com/note/832015425/?_i=3611268Mga-wyJ

角色与原型：//www.douban.com/note/831599392/?_i=3004587Mga-wyJ

李昌钰在本案：//www.douban.com/note/830920721/?_i=2063345Mga-wyJ

真实罪案爱好者过节了。

演员的八卦：

最先定了哈里森-福特来演男主迈克-彼得森，不知什么原因后来换了Colin Firth来演，都是优秀演员，会演绎出不同的味道来。Firth在第一集里演出了很多层次，抱着尸体痛哭一幕就有些“表演中的表演”的感觉：要演出剧中人表演痛失亲人的样子（本人已经认定他就是凶手了，不一定哦）。

托妮-科莱特早先在2009年Showtime的剧《倒错人生》（The United States of Tara）中就与Rosemarie DeWitt（本剧的坎迪丝）演过姐妹。

迈克-彼得森的律师大卫-鲁道夫是Michael Stuhlbarg演的，这位早年演过科恩兄弟的电影《严肃的男人》，去年和绝命毒师布莱恩-科莱思顿合作了《法官大人》，今年还有另一部新作品《成瘾剂量》，都是高质量作品。Michael Stuhlbarg与托妮-科莱特早年在安东尼-霍普金斯的《希区柯克》里有过合作。

以下翻译自filmschoolrejects的网站，原文题目：The Real Story Behind ‘The Staircase’。

【严重剧透！！！】

《阶梯之间》是HBO基于同名纪录片的一部迷你剧，该纪录片由Jean-Xavier de Lestrade导演，原为法国纪录片后来由网飞扩充。这些作品都讲述了小说家迈克-彼得森（Colin Firth扮演）的故事，他在2003年被定罪谋杀他的妻子Kathleen（托妮-科莱特扮演）。谋杀发生于两年前（2001），地点是北卡罗莱纳的杜兰。重审的结果是迈克-彼得森在2017的释放。

在那之后，这件案子依然吸引众多真实罪案爱好者。就像北卡罗莱纳的一家本地新闻所说：彼得森的案子是北卡三角区历史上最臭名昭著、庭审时间最长的案子“。

北卡三角区地形

2010年一则题为”楼梯底部的死亡“（Death at the bottom of the stairs）的文章讲述了2001年12月8日这天彼得森夫妻的经历：他们一起圣诞购物，开了几瓶葡萄酒，一起吃了晚餐，看电视，庆祝迈克的好消息：好莱坞要改编他的一部作品。

在那之后发生的事没人能够确定。

现在开始漫长、疯狂、绝对真实的《阶梯之间》背后的故事。

迈克-彼得森说谎被识破

从头开始：根据NBC，迈克-彼得森与凯瑟琳-阿特沃特（Kathleen Atwater）于1987年开始同居。迈克与前妻分居，此前领养了死去朋友的两个女儿。同居之前这两个女儿就经常与Kathleen的女儿Caitlin（Olivia DeJonge扮演）一起玩耍。

有一段时间两人很顺利：Kathleen在电信公司诺特尔工作，薪酬很高。迈克是成功的小说家，把自己在越战的经历写出来，他还参与地区政治，为报纸写专栏。

1992年两人买一栋漂亮的房子，五年后结婚。有时他们也吵架，NBC报道Caitlin回忆说两人有过”真正的尖叫“。但冲突往往只持续20分钟左右。

1999年迈克说谎被抓，很尴尬：他在竞选杜兰市长时声称自己因在越战中服役获得过银星和铜星，却没有文件证明。

迈克还称自己有两枚紫心勋章。他说自己”因另外一名士兵踩到地雷被弹片击中“。但最终谎言被识破，他的伤并不是来自战斗，而是战后驻扎日本时的一次车祸。这些谎言在谋杀后的几年又重新回到公众视线当中。

2001年秋天

据NBC，2001年秋天彼得森一家非常不顺。迈克竞选失败。Kathleen工作压力也很大，诺特尔股票暴跌，公司职员纷纷被解雇，让Kathleen觉得自己的工作也岌岌可危。

决定命运的12月8日晚上，大约11点，凯瑟琳接了一个同事的电话。迈克，据他自己说，在泳池边抽烟。接着他打了911，剧中逐字逐句再现了这个911报警电话。

警察到达之后发现凯瑟琳”倒在血泊之中，仰卧于地板，头部抵在阶梯底部“（in a pool of blood, splayed out on the floor, her head resting on the landing of a back staircase）。场面太过血腥，不能排除他杀。到场警探和专家认为，这不是事故。

谋杀指控

第二年二月，尸检报告确定了凯瑟琳的死因。（本剧的措辞与NBC报道几乎完全一样）

迈克很快被起诉一级谋杀，面临终身监禁的可能。他不承认自己杀了妻子。他的孩子们，包括凯瑟琳的亲生女儿Caitlin也为他辩护。

随着庭审开始，事情慢慢浮出水面。助理地区检察官Freda Black（Parker Posey扮演），讯问了一系列专家，证明凯瑟琳的死不可能是意外。

一位现场技术人员回忆了迈克在现场的表现：他呻吟着跑过房间，扑到彼得森夫人的尸体上，他用手环抱着她，继续抽泣。（就是剧里表演中的表演）

控方认为迈克在表演。其他专家讨论了迈克的说法与现场证据之间的不一致，主要基于血量和尸检报告。

酒杯和拨火棍（Blow Poke）

另一位专家的证词提到迈克布置了犯罪现场。根据迈克所说，凯瑟琳摔倒是因为两人一起喝了葡萄酒，之后她还服用了安定。警察在现场发现了一瓶葡萄酒和两个”摆放很整齐的“酒杯。然而，酒瓶和酒杯上都没有凯瑟琳的指纹。所以专家认为这个现场是布置的。

法医发现凯瑟琳体内的酒精含量很低，甚至能通过酒驾测试。

庭审中，凯瑟琳的姐妹坎迪丝（Rosemarie Braddock DeWit扮演）也上了证人席。她指证彼得森家有一个拨火棍，中空管状。警察从来没有看到过这个拨火棍。因此推测迈克可能就是用这个拨火棍杀死凯瑟琳的。

但之后 ，被告方在彼得森家的车库找到了这个拨火棍，控方的凶器推测不成立。法医学专家没有看到使用过的证据。

迈克-彼得森的性向

随着庭审深入，彼得森夫妻的私人生活逐渐公开。控方指出他们深陷债务，经济紧张。迈克的小说只赚了很少的钱。他们欠了税。孩子们都上很贵的学校。一家人靠凯瑟琳的薪水勉强度日。

控方一开始从金钱入手立案，凯瑟琳的公司提供寿险，迈克在她死后能获得180万。这只是开了个头，控方马上找到了另一个角度。

控方把迈克的行为与他是双性恋联系在一起。庭审的追随者们开始着迷于彼得森生活中的”另一个男人“。控方相信凯瑟琳发现了迈克电脑里的裸体男性照片，大约有2000个这样的男性。此外还有迈克与一位名叫Brad的男妓的电邮往来。

Brad出庭作证，声称他从来没有见过迈克，但两人确实互通电邮并计划见面。两人的邮件得以公之于众。Caitlin认为她的妈妈一定会有所反应，”她绝不会接受这样的事“（that’s not something that she would have been willing to accept）。

因此，这成了控方的立案关键。他们称，谋杀当晚，凯瑟琳接到工作电话，然后发现了迈克与Brad的电邮。她与他对质，他杀了她。

迈克-彼得森的辩护

立案之后，辩护方，包括迈克的律师大卫-鲁道夫（Michael Stuhlbarg扮演），坚称凯瑟琳的饮酒和摔倒。他们认为彼得森夫妻很幸福，财务状况良好。凯瑟琳的死就是意外。

辩护方也交叉询问了Brad。认为凯瑟琳有可能早就知道并接受迈克的性向。他们认为迈克甚至从自己家里给Brad打过电话，并没有试图隐藏自己的性向。

至于现场大量的血迹，辩护方提请了自己一方的专家，包括辛普森一案中的法医Dr. Henry Lee，开始指责警察工作马虎，理由是即便是毒打血量也过多。

但是之后事情越发诡异起来。

发生在德国的神秘死亡事件

庭审当中，法官作出了让人震惊的决定，他允许陪审团聆听一个几十年前的故事。当时迈克-彼得森和他第一任妻子Patricia住在西德（意味着冷战柏林墙还没倒的时候）。历史，似乎在重复它自己。

1980年代，迈克和Patricia住在法兰克福附近的美国空军基地。他们与Elizabeth Ratliff成为好友，她是一个寡妇有两个女儿（就是之后迈克领养的），两个家庭走得很近，迈克对那两个女孩来说相当于父亲。

1984年11月24日，迈克同意送Ratliff回家并哄两个女孩入睡。第二天，根据NBC报道，Ratliff的姐妹接到电话：Ratliff摔下楼梯死去了。法医说她”死于颅内出血和休克，属于自然死亡“。根据死者的遗嘱，彼得森夫妻成为两个女孩的监护人，新家庭随后搬回美国。

在Ratliff的姐妹接触彼得森一案的控方之前，他们对Ratliff之死一无所知。他们对两个事件相似性的震惊可想而知。控方和警方决定重新开始调查Ratliff的死因。

尸体从德克萨斯掘出。法医发现了”撕裂伤，头皮深伤口“，共七处，就像凯瑟琳一样。法医相信Ratliff也是死于谋杀。

定罪

政府没有就Elizabeth Ratliff之死定迈克的罪，但成为本案的证据。辩护方试图反对，但证据是压倒性的。证人纷纷出现，包括发现Ratliff尸体的保姆。两案的相似性过于明显，无法置之不理。

三个半月后，陪审团经过四天慎重考虑，认定迈克有罪，处以终身监禁。NBC评论说审判撕裂了这个家庭。Ratliff的亲属断绝了与迈克和他养女们的关系。迈克不再与Caitlin说话，两个养女也开始沉默。

猫头鹰理论

迈克-彼得森多次上诉，试图开始重新审案，多次被包括北卡最高法院在内驳回。2009年，关于凯瑟琳之死的一个新猜想浮出水面：就是猫头鹰理论（The Owl Theory）。杜兰一名叫Larry Pollard（Joel McKinnon Miller扮演）的律师一直追踪此杂，提出了这个新解释：凯瑟琳被一只猫头鹰袭击善，摔倒，然后跑回房子。凯瑟琳的头发间确实发现了鸟的羽毛，法医证明，右手也有。这个理论收效甚微，其他专家并不认同，法庭没有采纳，所以纪录片中也没有提到。

重审和释放

迈克-彼得森并不需要一只猫头鹰来获得好运气。2010年，北卡罗莱纳当局迫于公众压力调查问题执法。结果发现针对彼得森的一名控方证人，分析专家Duane Deaver因为工作表现欠佳被撤职，后被解雇。

因为这名证人，迈克-彼得森于2011年12月保释出狱，在家软禁。重审提上日程。传说中的破坏证据让迈克-彼得森一案更难被证实。重审安排好已经是数年以后。

于是，2017年，迈克-彼得森重获自由。他认了故意杀人的罪，法官判决入狱86个月，但因为他已经服刑超过这个时间，所以自由了。

阶梯之间

HBO的这部《阶梯之间》只是有关这个事件的流行文化作品之一，将同名纪录片戏剧化。在纪录片制作过程中，迈克-彼得森与编辑Sophi Brunet（茱丽叶-比诺什扮演）擦出了爱的火花。

关于这段关系，纪录片导演Jean-Xavier de Lestrade的评论是：这是那15年间发生的不可思议的事情之一。生命中充满了惊喜。他们之间有真正的故事，一直延续到2017年五月。她从未让她对他的感觉影响到纪录片的编辑。

婚姻不可直视，因为真相你无法负荷。

小说家的妻子身亡，丈夫报警声称是跌落楼梯所致。但警方发现，妻子的死并非意外，而是谋杀。HBO《阶梯之间》由一个真实案件改编而来，本世纪初在北美引起轰动，因太多疑点成为悬案，甚至与辛普森杀妻案齐名。

这是死党推荐的，她一直在关注楼梯案，从李昌钰的纪实文学，到《没药花园》的分析，从Netflix的纪录片到HBO的剧情片……有趣的是，她感觉HBO《阶梯之间》比纪录片客观不少。很可能的因素之一是原型女剪辑师因为和小说家的恋情（或她个人观点），剪辑出来的纪录片是尽可能站在被告方立场的。纪录片里对检方有利的不少因素，都回避、弱化或一笔带过。

HBO剧因为拍摄时间晚于纪录片，甚嚣尘上的各路推测解析也发酵的差不多了，在编剧思路上更加从容。

《绝望的主妇》、《大小谎言》、《致命女人》、《蛇蝎女佣》，你们发现没有：美剧的一个套路就是，由一桩命案的调查，就此揭开了众人合谋心照不宣的潘多拉盒，看到婚姻家庭华袍背后的秘密和罪恶。无一例外。没有谁比谁更幸福，成年人世界的礼貌就是掩饰与不揭穿。

人生黑天鹅事件的发生，才可能验证你的抗风险能力；然而这样的验证往往血腥颠覆，是真正的终极痛苦，它无法消弭你承担选择的艰难，它一定会让你破碎。

一路幼稚浪漫活过来的人，是幸运儿，没有机会看到世界暗黑的一面；心智成熟但选择简单的人，是强有力者，承认并接受人性的复杂丑陋；还有一种靠直觉懒惰懵懂过活的人，巧妙避开了一切可能让自己为难、殇痛、坍塌的真相，很难讲，他们不是智者。

生活不易，婚姻家庭都经不起放大镜，别去寻找真相，你们俩要做合谋同犯，把戏演下去。。。

PS：脸叔、朱丽叶的卡司，成为品质保障，《权力的游戏》里的大女儿是小小惊喜。

第八集： 渣男的斩女大招

很想讨论女剪辑师为什么会爱上了麦克，这个问题很典型呼应现实生活里的一些匪夷所思的恋情，明明各方面很优秀的女孩儿为什么围绕着一个大家都知道很垃圾的男人。麦克这个作家角色直到最后一集的自我表述揭开了谜底，他的操控能力来自哪里。

他讲了他第一次产生了crush，就开始知道了自己对女人的杀伤力，后来知道了对男人的杀伤力，屡试不爽中找到了一种通过情感控制和利用别人的能力——这个能力是他自己根据个人天赋，后天习得的。看看人物在剧中的PUA的技巧。

对女剪辑师苏菲的诱惑与控制。

1.文艺男青年的人设对女性非常有杀伤力，不知道是否有人中招，他在信中写一点自己的文艺爱好，文学阅读习惯，对文学世界的感悟，就这些能把也是文青的苏菲迷倒，足以证明他的文艺为武器的撩妹技能，对于商务女强人凯瑟琳，和他德国时期的女外交官的诱惑力了；男人卖文艺人设的时候，对女性的人均杀伤力数值很高；

2.对不同女性他有不同策略，他对苏菲有一个苦难的受害者人设，他对凯瑟琳有一个浪漫体贴好丈夫人设，他在观察对方需求中，调整自己的角色，一切为自己所用；剧中有几次他用性讨好凯瑟琳，一次是他跟男友的野炮打完回家，对妻子的抚慰性的勾引，还有一次他们参加晚会前，凯瑟琳在化妆，他进来勾引她发生关系。

一个无所事事，靠妻子的社会身份和经济收入维持生计的人，自尊心状态不会很稳定，看到妻子的风光无限，便会产生了一种奇怪的占有欲，自己的性也是他利用的一件工具。故事里的麦克非常有杰克苏的情结，以至于他到了监狱，还在寻找可以PUA的对象，直到遇到了狠角色，狠狠地被生活抽耳光。

他对苏菲的诱惑在他充满文艺气息的煽情描述中，透过文字侵蚀了苏菲的理性，她越看影像里的帅气的麦克和他写的信，就越对人物产生美好的想象，就越想去救他，为了拯救他献出自己的生活。女性一旦在恋爱中产生了圣母心，也是很容易被PUA，特别是对方位置低于你的时候，那种反向的权力实施——我很弱所以我需要你的支持，你改变了我，你也会为爱奋不顾身，我们的爱情多么伟大。

麦克对苏菲自行发展出了这个话术，拯救自己而给苏菲带来了成就感，这简直利用别人不要更狡猾。事实上，他非常冷血，毫无人情味，刚刚利用了苏菲，跑前跑后为他忙活，获得自由之后，就极其冷酷地说：我也不知道是不是爱你。把苏菲榨干了，去巴黎跟苏菲也过普通人生活，没什么利用价值了，简直王八蛋。如果苏菲是个富婆，他大概就又是一副态度了。

3.予取予夺的操控术。

他知道自己有魅力，男人女人都容易喜欢上自己，孩子们也喜欢自己，于是他会擅长说不，拒绝，玩弄别人，包括孩子们。他最经典的操控就是对两个儿子，小儿子基本上这辈子没法正常了，他老爸来不来就拿哥哥踩他，开始又是哥哥来不来用来踩，两个儿子的性格都不太正常。故事对两个儿子的塑造其实很明确的，自信心不足，毫无价值感，说谎成性，都来自他们父亲的严厉和温柔，打压和鼓励交替。

他对苏菲也经常来这招，一会儿行一会儿又不行。法国人苏菲真是傻白甜啊，就这么容易中招。遇到男人最甜的时候甜死你，狠的时候恨不得弄死你，翻脸比翻书快的人，一定要快跑，百分之百操控大师。测试你的承受底线，你跑了他可能会来求你，你要是没跑他下次欺负你更狠。

这部剧最精彩的是脸叔的好人与坏人，两种猜测的无缝切换，人物的不确定性承担了故事看点。但就剧本有些散焦，特别是后面的姐妹情，兄弟情，冲淡了主角的戏和主线的戏。

脸叔把麦克这人的深入骨髓的自私，那种信手拈来的男女通吃的魅力，生活日常里无处不在的影帝级表演，刻画得相当厉害了。结尾的那一笑，得意而充满挑衅，明白地告诉了观众，人就是我杀的，你们能奈我何？

脸叔，科林·费斯，初代达西先生，汤姆福德的大男主，一代女文青的白月光，最绅士特工，这次的角色真的极大突破了自己既有形象——一位道貌岸然的伪君子，深柜，双性恋，自恋暴怒患者，杀妻犯。男主麦克的这些身份都让人很难想到脸叔的人畜无害的脸。可是脸叔就接下了这个戏，从角色的特点看，去年演过杀人犯的那位休·格兰特叔是最合适的人，完美外表下的暴力自私男。大概休叔已经演过了，不想再演同样的角色了。

演员扮演的角色都给这个角色增加了很多这个演员的特点。角色和演员其实是相互成就的。脸叔扮演的麦克是个怎样的人？脸叔发挥出了怎样的演技？

麦克这个人物有几层有趣的地方，正如检察官说的，这是一个关于外表和真相的故事。外表的麦克是个几乎完美的男人，家庭、事业、朋友圈，人的见识，各方面都是社会的阶级上游，性格也很好，爱老婆爱一群孩子，即使是面对青春期的孩子，他也有办法安抚孩子们，操控力满分。对妻子嘴甜，行动主动，特别是在身体接触上，他是个很有魅力的丈夫，也肯定妻子的性魅力的。

但是他有着复杂的人格，就是在伪装，我们看到他和情人（男性）打电话，另一边给老婆找按摩师，搞定老婆给儿子经济资助，身体取悦老婆，一边又去找新的男炮友。一个将伪装的一部分人个内在化的人，就是不再觉得是伪装，而是在不同情境下的不同表演。

脸叔对这个角色的习惯性说谎和表演拿捏得很准确，他会用松弛的面部肌肉抽搐表现人物的心虚，用眼神表达他的不确定性，揣摩对方心思时的暗戳戳观察，还有试图情感操控时伪装的真情流露——提醒女生，生活里那些爱示弱的男生，那些表现出爱你不在乎自己损失的男生是有操控术的，不是真的很需要你，男人本性的爱面子，当他刻意表达无所谓的时候，是希望你能心甘情愿被他所用——他对两个德国女儿在不愿意接受采访的时候，就是这副嘴脸，成功控制了两个女孩儿，现场演绎了什么叫做情感操控。

脸叔是有一种让人信赖的魅力，这是他的魅力，放到了麦克这个人物身上，就成了第一层人物伪装，成了一种角色的表演。

第二层有趣的地方，是他的黑暗部分，人越是外表伟光正，内在反而会越不堪，这是人性的特点，善恶黑白都是平衡动态关系，此消彼长，是一种正常状态，而任何极端都意味着某种变态。麦克在家受气小媳妇儿，经济上不如老婆，就到外面借着租影碟名义搞搞野战，寻求刺激，和他在大办公室里翘着二郎腿打电话谈商务的形象，反差很大啊。脸叔演出了这个人的合理性，在外面太装了，在黑暗角落里找回真实的自己，才能觉得自己是活着的。

脸叔的气质原本是个禁欲男神，这个戏里变成了色情狂，这让本粉丝有些一开始无法接受。当然我还是能分清演员和戏的分别，脸叔的这个色情狂麦克，带着被压抑的变态味道，接近生活日常里的变态大叔，不是文艺作品里的变态。很像个隔壁邻居老王的那种色情狂的感觉。

看到了第三集，看完下一集精彩的法庭戏，继续分析人物和演员表演。

在外网看到Micheal妹妹（或姐姐？）的发声，和剧集、纪录片中呈现的支持Micheal的亲人们相反，她认为自己的兄弟是有罪的。感觉可以给对事件感兴趣的豆友们一个视角，就搬运过来了。不代表个人观点，谷歌翻译加上个人审校，渣翻请大家见谅。

原文地址：

//web.archive.org/web/20060205042751/http%3A//www.justicemag.com/daily/item/1186.html

标题：当你的兄弟是凶手

Title：When Your Brother Is a Murderer

被定罪的凶手迈克尔·彼得森的姐妹向司法专栏作家凯特·库拉迪写了一封衷心的信，主题是关于被遗忘的暴力犯罪受害者。

The sister of convicted murderer Michael Peterson writes a heartfelt letter to justice columnist Katie Coolady about the forgotten victims of violent crime.

亲爱的凯蒂，

我知道您正在为犯罪受害者主题撰写专栏，我非常喜欢这个想法。我犹豫着是否与您分享，因为我不是受害者，也不是受害者的家人。我是凶手的妹妹，而我的人生也因此不可能与之前相同。

Dear Katie,

I understand that you are writing a column for victims of crimes, and I like that idea a lot. I am hesitant to share with you because I am not a victim, nor am I family of a victim. I am the sister of the murderer, and my life will never be the same.

2001 年 12 月 10 日上午 10 点，我在加利福尼亚的家中，正准备去朋友家吃早餐时，电话响了。那是我的侄子克莱顿。我很高兴接到他的电话，因为我有一段时间没有和他说话了。然后他告诉我，我的嫂子凯瑟琳——我哥哥迈克尔的妻子——在凌晨时分于她位于北卡罗琳娜州的家中的楼梯底下被发现：她从楼梯上摔下来，死了。

At 10 a.m. on December 10, 2001, I was at home in California, preparing to go to a friend's house for breakfast, when the phone rang. It was my nephew Clayton. I was happy to hear from him because I hadn't spoken to him in a while. Then he told me that my sister-in-law Kathleen, my brother Michael's wife, had been found at the bottom of a staircase in her North Caroline home in the early morning hours. She had fallen down the stairs, and she was dead.

老实说，我的第一个也是最直接的想法是：“哇，这就是发生在Liz身上的事情。” 伊丽莎白拉特利夫（笔者注：Martha和Margeret的亲生母亲）是我们家的好朋友，也是迈克第一任妻子帕蒂最好的朋友。 1985年，当他们都住在德国时，她死于楼梯坠落。她是如此亲密的朋友，以至于我的兄弟迈克尔后来帮助抚养了她的两个女儿。

Honestly, my first and immediate thought was. "Wow, that's what happened to Liz." Elizabeth Ratliff was a very good friend of our family and the best friend of Mike's first wife, Patty. In 1985, when they were all living in Germany, she had died in a staircase fall. She was such a good friend that my brother Michael had then helped raise her two daughters.

接下来涌入的想法是：凯瑟琳死了，我的上帝，这怎么可能，这太可怕了，这肯定是一场梦。

Then the next thoughts came flooding in: Kathleen is dead, my God, how can that be, this is horrible, this is a dream.

克莱顿让我开车去旧金山向伊丽莎白·拉特利夫的两个女儿之一玛莎汇报这个消息。在过去的十年里，她作为我的兄弟迈克尔及凯瑟琳的养女一起生活，她正在旧金山大学完成她的第一个学期，离我家只有 15 分钟车程。克莱顿说迈克本人非常沮丧，他不能来接电话，但后来他接了电话，简短地嘱咐我马上去找玛莎。

Clayton asked me to drive to San Francisco to break the news to Martha, one of Elizabeth Ratliff's two daughters. She had lived with my brother Michael and Kathleen as their foster child for the past decade, and she was finishing her first semester as a freshman at the University of San Francisco, just a 15-minute drive south of my house. Clayton said that Mike himself was so upset he couldn't come to the phone, but then he did, just briefly, and told me to get right over to Martha's.

取消早餐约会后，我跳进车里。当我快到金门大桥时，我的另一个侄子托德打电话来询问我的进展。我告诉他我已经安排了一位神父和宿管与我一起把消息告诉玛莎，他们在宿舍与我碰头，我们一起敲了 Martha 的门。我能听到她咯咯的笑声——毕竟，这是周六一晚上的party时光后的周日一早，她的阿姨在门后“窃听”着她。她终于让我进去了，她的咯咯笑声戛然而止，因为她看出了我举止的严肃。她的瞳孔变大了，她的室友离开了房间，我告诉她凯瑟琳死了。我告诉她，她的养母被发现死在楼梯底部（“就像你的第一任母亲一样”，我心想），我们在她的床上拥抱并抽泣。

After canceling my breakfast engagement, I jumped in my car. As I was approaching the Golden Gate Bridge, Todd, my other nephew, called to ask about my progress. I told him I had already arranged to have a priest and the dormitory's resident advisor meet me to help me give Martha the news. The priest and the RA met me in the dorm, and together we knocked on Martha's door. I could hear her giggling -- after all, here was her Aunt Ann bugging her on a Sunday morning after a Saturday night of college partying. She finally let me in, and her giggles stopped abruptly as she could see the seriousness of my demeanor. Her pupils got huge, her roommate left the room, and I told her Kathleen was dead. I told her that her foster mother was found dead at the bottom of the stairs (just like your first mom, I thought to myself) and we hugged and sobbed on her bed.

我安排那天晚上飞往东部，我让玛莎参加了期末考试并交卷，让她的朋友们帮忙收拾过寒假的行李。她和我乘坐红眼航班来到了北卡罗来纳州。

I made arrangements to fly east that night, for Martha to take her final exams and hand in her papers later, and for her friends to pack up her belongings for winter break. She and I took the red eye to North Carolina.

克莱顿和他的女朋友在机场迎接我们，我们都在华夫饼屋停下来吃早餐。然后我们去了我哥哥迈克尔的隔壁邻居家，因为我们被告知凯瑟琳的死亡现场正在接受警方的调查。我对此感到不安，但接受了它，觉得这一定是猝死现场要走的标准流程。

Clayton and his girlfriend met us at the airport, and we all stopped at Waffle House for breakfast. Then we went to my brother Michael's next door neighbor's house, because we were told that the scene of Kathleen's death was being investigated by the police. I had an uneasy feeling about that but accepted it, feeling that it must be standard protocol for sudden deaths.

当我们到达邻居家时，我们看到了我兄弟房子周围的黄色胶带。有很多警察，还有电视摄像机，这是克莱顿提醒我们的另一件事。在调查完成之前，不允许任何人进入我兄弟的房子。一天多来，警察一直在搜查他的豪宅和占地三半英亩的土地。

As we arrived at the neighbor's house, we saw the yellow tape around my brother's house. There were lots of police, and there were also TV cameras, another thing Clayton had warned us of. No one was allowed in my brother's house until the investigation was complete. Police had been searching his mansion and three-and-a-half acre grounds for over a day.

后来我们都去了我哥哥的另一个好朋友克里·萨顿的家。克里慷慨地向我们家人开放了她的房子。家人从全国各地陆陆续续赶来，加入了我、玛莎、克莱顿和托德的行列。克莱顿和托德是迈克尔第一次婚姻的儿子。玛格丽特是玛莎的妹妹，也是丽兹·拉特利夫的另一个女儿，她从新奥尔良的杜兰大学赶来。我的其他兄弟杰克和比尔来自内华达州；比尔，一位律师，是第一个到达的。凯瑟琳的姐妹们从弗吉尼亚开车南下，最后凯瑟琳的第一次婚姻的女儿凯特琳从纽约抵达，她在康奈尔大学读大二。

We all went over later to Kerry Sutton's house, another good friend of my brother's. Kerry had graciously opened up her house to our family. Family members came trickling in from across the country, joining me and Martha and Clayton and Todd, Michael's sons from his first marriage. Margaret, who is Martha's sister and Liz Ratliff's other daughter, came up from New Orleans, where she was attending Tulane. My other brothers Jack and Bill came from Nevada; Bill, a lawyer, had been the first to arrive. Kathleen's sisters drove down from Virginia and finally Caitlin, Kathleen's daughter from her first marriage, arrived from New York, where she was a sophomore at Cornell.

随着时间的流逝，我们仍然不被允许进入房子，玛格丽特问我迈克是否是凯瑟琳死亡的嫌疑人，我不知道。我哥哥比尔告诉我们，警方正在彻底调查这起死因，以防有入侵者谋杀的可能性。听到这话，我松了口气，因为这似乎是有道理的。我很高兴警方进行彻底的调查：一个年轻而充满活力的人因这种方式（笔者注：入侵者杀害）而死去似乎更合理，听到迈克不是嫌疑人，我松了一口气。玛格丽特也明显地表现出了宽慰，并接受了这个想法。

At one point, as the hours passed, and we were still not allowed access to the house, Margaret asked me if Mike was a suspect in Kathleen's death in any way. I didn't know. My brother Bill told us that the police were investigating the death thoroughly, in case there had been an intruder who might have murdered her. I was relieved to hear this, for it seemed to make sense. I was glad they were doing a thorough job. It seemed more plausible that a young and vibrant person would die this way, and I was relieved to hear that Mike was NOT a suspect. Margaret also visibly showed relief, and acceptance of this idea.

我为我的兄弟迈克感到非常难过，因为我知道他非常爱凯瑟琳。他一直是一个不安分的人，总是在寻找着什么，从不满足于他所拥有的，直到拥有了凯瑟琳。他似乎真的很满足于 48 岁的凯瑟琳，比他小 10 岁，而她是我见过的唯一一个能与他坚强的性格相匹配的人。当他表现出愤怒的一面时，她可以逗他笑。我最尊重凯瑟琳的是，她第一次真正地让玛莎和玛格丽特成为这个家庭的正式成员。在她嫁给迈克之前，女孩们并不总是参加家庭聚会和旅行，但凯瑟琳改变了这一切。而她似乎是唯一可以和我哥哥相配的人。如果他对她大喊大叫，她会说，“哦，闭嘴，迈克，”然后他们会一起爆笑。他们在一起看起来真的很幸福。我对他的损失感到非常抱歉。

I felt great sadness for my brother Mike, for I knew he loved Kathleen very much. He had always been a restless person, always looking for something, never satisfied with what he had, until Kathleen. He seemed truly content with Kathleen, who at 48 was a decade his junior, and she was the only person I ever met who could match his strong personality. She could make him laugh when he showed his angry side. What I respected most about Kathleen was that she had truly made Martha and Margaret full members of the family for the first time. Before she married Mike, the girls didn’t always come on family gatherings and trips, but Kathleen changed all that. And she seemed to be the only person who could be compatible with my brother. If he yelled at her, she would say, "Oh, just shut up, Mike," and then they would break up laughing together. They truly seemed happy together. I was very sorry for his loss.

那天深夜，我们都在邻居家庆祝了玛格丽特的 20 岁生日。我们吃蛋糕、唱歌、送礼物，分担着凯瑟琳去世这令人难以承受的悲伤。

Late that night, we all celebrated Margaret's 20th birthday at the neighbor's house. We had cake and sang and gave gifts and shared the overwhelming sadness of Kathleen's death.

接下来的日子被葬礼的各种安排填满，所有一切都是由凯瑟琳的姐妹们安排的。而此时已经很明显，尽管与我的希望相悖，但我哥哥显然是谋杀凯瑟琳的嫌疑人。一天深夜，当警察终于把房子交给我们时，第一个进去的人是克莱顿和托德，迈克的两个儿子，还有我的兄弟比尔。他们都立即开始寻找任何可能的入侵者的迹象。除了迈克——他去了自己的书房，倒腾起电脑来。

The ensuing days were filled with the funeral arrangements, all made by Kathleen's sisters. And it was now evident that, despite my hopes to the contrary, my brother was clearly a suspect in the murder of Kathleen after all. When the police finally turned the house over to us late one night, the first people who went in were Clayton and Todd, Mike's two sons, and my brother Bill. They all immediately began looking for any signs of a possible intruder. All except for Mike, who went to his office to work on his computer.

我和家人一样感到愤慨的是，我的兄弟正在被调查为可能的凶手。我以为当地的乡巴佬警察们不了解他的智慧以及有教养的生活方式。他是一位小说家和报纸专栏作家，曾撰写批评当地警察的文章。作为一个 60 年代思想自由的孩子，我认为警察腐败是一种常态。我很生气，我的兄弟受到如此可怕的对待。

I shared in the family's indignation that my brother was being investigated as a possible murderer. I thought the local hick cops didn't understand his intelligence and cultured lifestyle. He was a novelist and newspaper columnist who had written articles critical of the local police. As a liberal minded child of the '60s, I embraced the concept of police corruption as the norm. I was livid that my brother was being treated so horrifically.

我回到湾区后，我哥哥被控谋杀并入狱。我非常愤怒。我和我的亲友在蒙特雷的圣诞假期是一个非常悲伤的假期。我知道迈克在监狱里。他不仅要承受失去灵魂伴侣的悲伤，还被指控谋杀了她。我无法想象那一定是多么可怕。我从亚马逊网站为监狱里的他订购了一本弗吉尼亚·伍尔夫的小说。后者是我一生的文学导师。

After I returned to the Bay Area, my brother was indicted for murder and jailed. I was absolutely outraged. My Christmas holiday with my in-laws in Monterey was a very sad one. I knew Mike was in jail. Not only did he have to bear the sadness of losing his soulmate, he was accused of her murder. I couldn't imagine how horrible that must be. I ordered a Virginia Woolf novel from Amazon.com for him in jail. He had been my literary mentor my entire life.

当我重返工作岗位时，我的同事目睹了我对兄弟困境的悲痛和愤怒。我在加利福尼亚州里士满的低收入地区担任护士，我的同事可以共情那些与警察打交道时不公正的待遇。

When I returned to work, my co-workers witnessed my grief and my outrage about my brother's plight. I work as a nurse in a low-income area -- Richmond, California -- and my co-workers could empathize with dealing with injustice from the police.

在接下来的几个月里，我每周至少打电话给我的兄弟一次，分享我的积极想法、鼓励他、同情他。我们互相发了电子邮件。他让我了解调查的最新情况。他告诉我其他楼梯上的死亡事件，最初被认为是谋杀，后来被证明是事故。他告诉我世界著名的法医调查员来到他家，得出的结论是凯瑟琳的死绝对是一场意外。亨利·李博士（笔者注：李昌钰）几次来他家，一次是为了拍摄《20/20》。很明显，迈克有一个非常确凿的案例来证明他是无辜的，所有这些专家都可以作证。检察官吉姆·哈丁看起来像个土包子，一个头脑简单的南方律师，不可能理解我兄弟这样一个复杂人的复杂性。

In the ensuing months I would call my brother at least once a week to share my positive thoughts, to encourage him, to sympathize with him. We e-mailed each other. He kept me current with the investigation. He told me of other staircase deaths that were initially thought to be murders and later proven to be accidents. He told me of world-renowned forensic investigators who came to his house and concluded that Kathleen's death was definitely an accident. Dr Henry Lee came to his house several times, once for a filming of "20/20." It was clear that Mike had a very solid case to prove that he was innocent, with all of these experts to testify. And the prosecutor Jim Hardin seemed like such a bumpkin, a simpleminded Southern lawyer who could not possibly understand the intricacies of such a complex person as my brother.

我每天都在网上阅读新闻报道。我认为任何认为我兄弟有罪的人要么是恶意的，要么是愚蠢的。他们只知道他们读到的简单的东西。他们不认识我的兄弟。我认识我的兄弟，我知道他是无辜的。因为我认识他，我知道他是无辜的。他是我的兄弟，和我在同一个屋檐下长大，在同一个家庭被抚养成人。我知道他不是凶手。

I read the news reports online every day. I thought that any person who thought my brother was guilty was either malicious or stupid. They only knew the simple things they read. They did not know my brother. I knew my brother and I knew he was innocent. Because I knew him, I knew he was innocent. He was my brother, raised in the same household as me, raised in the same family. I knew he was not a murderer.

迈克给我发了几次关于凯瑟琳的女儿凯特琳的电子邮件。他抱怨她是多么的贪婪，她是如何试图获得凯瑟琳的人寿保险，以及她是多么想在凯瑟琳的坟墓上竖起一个华而不实的标记。凯特琳也相信迈克是有罪的。不管迈克怎么想，我都同情凯特琳。作为凯瑟琳的女儿，她应该得到她的任何遗产，即使她想在母亲的坟墓旁摆上粉红色的火烈鸟，也应该被允许。毕竟，不管是什么原因，她失去了母亲，我对她的毁灭性损失表示同情。但我也认为她认为迈克有罪是错误的，而且她也一定是头脑简单，容易被达勒姆警察操纵，以至于她看不到真相。

Mike e-mailed me several times about Kathleen's daughter Caitlin. He complained about how greedy she was, how she was trying to get hold of Kathleen's life insurance, and how she wanted to put up a gaudy marker on Kathleen's grave. And Caitlin also believed Mike was guilty. I felt sympathy for Caitlin, no matter what Mike thought. As Kathleen's daughter, she deserved any inheritance there was, and even if she wanted to put up pink flamingos on her mother's grave, she should be allowed. After all, no matter the cause, she lost her mother and I empathized with her devastating loss. But I also thought she was wrong to think Mike guilty, and that she too must be simpleminded to be so easily manipulated by the Durham police that she couldn't see the truth.

凯瑟琳的尸检回来了，裁定是他杀。我知道这个结论是错误的。我还在网上阅读了伊丽莎白·拉特利夫的原始尸检，其中描述了由于跌倒而导致的“头皮上多处深裂伤”，我心想，是的，由于从楼梯上摔下来所造成的多处裂伤。我记得在德国格拉芬豪森的伊丽莎白·拉特利夫家里那个有问题的楼梯——上面没有铺地毯而且很硬。

Kathleen's autopsy came back ruled a homicide. I knew this conclusion was wrong. I had also read online Liz Ratliff's original autopsy that described "multiple deep lacerations over the scalp" due to a fall, and I thought, yes, multiple lacerations because of a fall down the stairs. I remembered the stairs in question in Liz's house back in Grafenhausen, Germany. They were not carpeted. They were hard.

母亲节那天，我在内华达州里诺拜访了我的母亲。比尔安排了一个来自北卡罗来纳州的新闻工作人员采访我的父母。妈妈说她根本不想这么做，压力太大了，但当然，如果这对迈克有帮助，她会的。她让我坐在她身边。我不想，但我想帮助妈妈，所以我做了，不想说什么。但是当记者问我问题时，我几乎无法闭嘴。 “凯瑟琳显然是因为头皮撕裂而摔倒流血而死，”我坚持说。“我是一名有急诊室经验的护士，我知道头皮撕裂是如何流血的。”

On Mother's Day, I visited my mother in Reno, Nevada. Bill had arranged for a news crew from North Carolina to interview both my mother and father. Mom said she did not want to do it at all, it was so very stressful, but of course if it would help Mike, she would. She asked me to sit by her. I didn't want to, but I wanted to help Mom, so I did, not intending to say anything. But when the reporter asked me questions, I could barely shut up. "Kathleen obviously fell and bled to death from scalp lacerations," I insisted. "I am a nurse with emergency room experience, and I know how scalp lacerations bleed."

我暗示道凯瑟琳的头撞到金属椅子上。我坚持说迈克尔爱凯瑟琳，而 17 年前在德国以同样方式死去的丽兹是迈克的挚友。他永远不会伤害她。我非常热情地为我的兄弟辩护。

I suggested that Kathleen had hit her head on a metal chair. I insisted that he loved Kathleen, and that Liz, who had died the same way in Germany 17 years before, was Mike's dear friend. He would never hurt her. I was very passionate in defense of my brother.

我已经给老板说了，当审判开始时，我需要去北卡罗来纳州。没有什么可以阻止我为我的兄弟而存在。即使冒着失去工作的风险，只要我需要，我也会在那里，即使对他有帮助，即使是整个审判。毫无疑问，我对我兄弟的事业献身。

I had informed my boss that when the trial started, I would need to go to North Carolina. Nothing could keep me away from being there for my brother. Even at the risk of losing my job, I was going to be there for as long as I was needed, even for the entire trial if it would help him. There was no question of my devotion to my brother's cause.

几个月过去了。我每天都阅读新闻，每天都感到悲伤和愤怒。我很担心被保释的迈克。虽然我知道他可能不会被判有罪，但我知道一切皆有可能。我继续与玛莎、玛格丽特、托德和克莱顿通信。玛格丽特会要求保证迈克不会被判有罪。我不想误导她，但她不想听到任何其他的可能性。对我们的家庭来说，这是一段漫长、悲伤和不安的时光。

The months passed. I read the news daily, and sadness and outrage was with me daily. I was worried about Mike, who was out on bail. Although I knew he'd probably not be found guilty, I knew that anything was possible. I continued correspondence with Martha and Margaret and Todd and Clayton. Margaret would ask for reassurance that there was no way Mike would be found guilty. I didn't want to mislead her, but she did not want to hear of any other possibility. It was a long and sad and upsetting time for our family.

我妈妈于 2002 年 6 月去世。我去雷诺医院看她，因为她的臀部骨折了。她身体非常健康，三天前还打过桥牌。尽管患有慢性类风湿性关节炎，她仍然非常活跃。 6 月 19 日，当我离开她的病床时，她告诉我，她恐怕不会“熬过这一关”了。我说：“这太荒谬了，只是臀部骨折了。”她说她压力很大。第二天，她就去世了。

My mom died in June of 2002. I went to Reno see her in the hospital because she had broken her hip. She had been very healthy, and had played bridge just three days before. She was very active despite her chronic rheumatoid arthritis. On June 19 she told me as I left her hospital bed that she was not going to "make it through this one." I said, "That's ridiculous, it's only a broken hip." She said she was under a lot of stress. The next day she was dead.

我为迈克尔感到非常担心和难过，我让重症监护室的护士给她戴上呼吸器和起搏器，直到迈克尔可以从北卡罗来纳州回来。我解释说，他在6个月前突然失去了妻子。杰克、比尔和我看着护士们让妈妈的身体保持着活力，直到迈克晚上 10 点 30 分到达，这样他就可以吻她与她告别。然后他们解开了呼吸器。

I was so worried and sad for Michael, I had the nurses at the intensive care unit keep her on the respirator and the pacemaker until he could come from North Carolina. I explained that he had lost his wife suddenly only 6 months earlier. Jack and Bill and I watched the nurses keep Mom's body alive until Mike arrived at 10:30 pm so he could kiss her goodbye. Then they unhooked the respirator.

我在里诺的逗留是痛苦的，不仅仅是因为我母亲的突然去世，我和她非常亲近。没想到，迈克对我很残忍。如果迈克提出什么建议，比如给我生病的父亲喝一杯酒，而我反对，迈克会恶毒地攻击我。“听着，甜心，”他会咆哮道，“在这里并不是你说了算。”他甚至对爸爸让我开车而不是他而感到愤怒。迈克的一些口头攻击让我颤抖和流泪。

My stay in Reno was traumatic, and not just because of the sudden loss of my mother, to whom I was very close. Unexpectedly, Mike was very cruel to me. If Mike proposed something, like giving my ailing father a drink of liquor, and I opposed it, Mike would turn on me viciously. "Listen, sweetheart," he'd growl, "you're not calling the shots around here." He was even furious that Dad would let me drive his car but not him. Some of Mike's verbal attacks left me in trembling and in tears.

当我回到家时，我向我的朋友和公婆描述了他的行为。“他真是个混蛋，”我说。“他当然不是杀人犯，但他就是个混蛋。”到那时，我怀疑我的很多朋友都认为他是凶手，但没有人敢在我周围发出这样的想法。甚至没有人敢提出这样一种可能性。尽管他在里诺对我很残忍，尽管我觉得奇怪的是，一个因谋杀女人而面临审判的男人会让自己如此残暴地对待另一个女人——况且是在公共场合——这对我来说，仍然不可能相信他有杀人的能力。正如我所说，我坚定而热情地为他辩护。

When I returned home, I described his behavior to my friends and in-laws. "He's such an asshole," I said. "He's not a murderer, of course, but he's such an asshole." By then I suspected that lot of my friends thought he WAS a murderer, but no one dared voice that thought around me. No one dared even suggest it as a possibility. Despite his cruelty toward me in Reno, and despite the fact that I found it strange that a man facing trial for murdering a woman would let himself be so abusive to another woman -- in public, no less -- it was still impossible for me to believe he was capable of murder. As I said, I was adamant and passionate in my defense of him.

然后在 10 月下旬的一天，我在工作时接到了我哥哥比尔的电话。杰克也上线了。比尔说他刚刚看到了案件的完整报告，所有将在审判中使用的证据，而迈克的境况看起来并不好。比尔和杰克想从我患有严重痴呆症的父亲那里拿走 17.5万美元，以帮助支付庭审费用。迈克的第一任妻子帕蒂也借给他同样的金额。他说，这笔借款是由迈克房子的留置权担保的。

Then one day in late October, I got a phone call at work from my brother Bill. Jack was also on the line. Bill said that he had just seen the full report on the case, all the evidence that would be used at trial, and things didn't look good for Mike. Bill and Jack wanted to take $175,000 from my father, who had severe dementia, to help with the costs of the trial. Mike's first wife Patty was lending him the same amount. The loan was secured, he said, by the lien on Mike's house.

比尔分享了证据。在凯瑟琳的裤子后面发现了迈克带血的脚印。她的血溅在他的短裤的内侧。他是双性恋，最近的表现几乎印证了他完全是同性恋。而且还有一份价值140万美元的人寿保险单，而麦克是受益人。迈克获胜的情况比他最初想象的要难得多。接着，比尔挂断了电话。

Bill shared the evidence. Mike's bloody footprint was found on the back of Kathleen's pants. Her blood splatter was found up inside his shorts. He was bisexual and had been more recently pretty much exclusively homosexual. There was a $1.4 million life insurance policy with Mike as the benefactor. It would be harder case for Mike to win than he had initially thought. Then Bill hung up.

突然间，我的生活发生了变化。我能感觉到我的思想打开了。裂缝扩大了，一些念头、想法和后知后觉涌入。我又想起了1985年在德国的伊丽莎白·拉特利夫家的楼梯。这甚至不是一个完整意义上的楼梯，从中跌落仅意味着笔直地着陆。她是怎么得到多处深裂伤的？我重读了她的尸检报告。在 1985 年她从楼梯上摔下来时，并没有没有发现任何体内血管破裂作为动脉瘤破裂的证据（笔者注：德方当时出具的尸检报告中伊丽莎白·拉特利夫的死因为动脉瘤破裂）。这怎么可能？

And suddenly, my life shifted. I could feel my mind open up. The crack widened and thoughts and ideas and realizations flowed in. I thought of Liz Ratliff's staircase in Germany in 1985 again. It wasn't even a full flight of stairs. It just led to a landing. How DID she get multiple deep lacerations? I re-read Liz's autopsy. There was no ruptured blood vessel found as evidence of the ruptured aneurysm she supposedly had that caused that fall down the stairs in 1985. How could that be?

实际上只有一种合理的解释。

第二天我给哥哥杰克打电话。我和杰克可以无所顾忌，我解释了我曾对迈克不可动摇的信念发生了什么。然后我给比尔打电话。“我的上帝，比尔，”我说，“也许是他干的。”“你究竟想说什么？”比尔厉声说道。我们的谈话就这样结束了。我想我没有想说什么。

There was really only one reasonable conclusion.

I phoned my brother Jack the next day. I can talk to Jack, and I explained what was happening to my unshakeable belief in Mike. Then I phoned Bill. "My God, Bill," I said, "Maybe he did it." "What's your point?" snapped Bill. That was the end of our conversation. I guess I had no "point".

我不理解这种态度。从那时起，我的家人选择不理我。一位家庭成员告诉我，无论如何都要捍卫家庭，无论如何。另一个家庭成员告诉我，即使迈克进了监狱，凯瑟琳和丽兹都不会起死回生。

I didn't understand this attitude. From that point on, my family chose to ignore me. I was told by a family member that one defends a family no matter what. No matter what. I was told by another family member that if Mike went to jail it wouldn't bring either Kathleen or Liz back.

我的生活发生了变化。我感到非常孤独。我保持沉默，我给迈克的电话和电子邮件也停止了。

My life had changed. I felt very alone. I kept silent, and my phone calls and e-mails to Mike stopped.

2 月，比尔要求杰克和我同意再用爸爸的 35 万美元为迈克辩护。我父亲在精神上没有能力批准或反对。我说拿他的钱是公然不道德和错误的，我不同意比尔的提议。迈克立即打电话给我发电子邮件说我很贪心，我只关心我的遗产。这与他对继女凯特琳所说的无比相似。那是我与哥哥迈克的最后一次交流。

In February, Bill asked that Jack and I approve using another $350,000 of Dad's money for Mike's defense. My dad was not mentally competent to approve or object. I said it would be blatantly unethical and wrong to take his money, and didn't agree to Bill's proposal. Mike immediately phoned and e-mailed me to say I was greedy, and that I only cared about my inheritance. It was similar to what he had said about his stepdaughter Caitlin. That was the last communication I ever had with my brother Mike.

审判开始时，我在电视上看到我全家在法庭上，我的兄弟、侄女、侄子和前嫂子帕蒂。三个多月来，我每天都在法院电视上观看庭审。我看着比尔接受电视采访，说全家人是如何支持迈克的。我看到他说迈克永远不会这样做。我看了很多对我所有家人和迈克的采访。

When the trial started, I saw my entire family in the courtroom on TV, my brothers and nieces and nephews and former sister-in-law Patty. I watched the trial on Court TV every day for more than three months. I watched Bill give TV interviews and say how the entire family supported Mike. I watched him say that Mike would never ever do this. I watched many interviews with all my family members and Mike.

我试着和比尔说话。我试图告诉他迈克是一个需要控制的危险人物。我坚定地认为迈克无法控制自己，就像病人或疯狗一样，他需要被收容。我害怕迈克。比尔不理我。没有人听我的。

I tried to talk to Bill. I tried to tell him that Mike was a dangerous person who needed to be controlled. I had decided that Mike couldn't control himself. Like a sick person or a rabid dog, he needed to be contained. I was afraid of Mike. Bill ignored me. No one listened to me.

然后，我打破了公开的沉默，与《达勒姆先驱太阳报》的汤姆·加斯帕罗利交谈。众所周知，加斯波实际上在报纸上占据了迈克曾经的旧专栏。我告诉加斯波，我认为我哥哥有罪。 “我仍然希望我认为他是无辜的，”我告诉他。 “如果我这么想，生活会轻松很多。”该专栏于 2003 年 9 月 7 日开始发表，而当时的迈克正在接受审判。那天之后，除了杰克，我的大多数家人都不再和我交流了。我成了一个局外人。

Then I broke my public silence to speak to Tom Gasparoli of the Durham Herald-Sun. Gaspo, as he is known, had actually taken Mike's old column at the paper. I told Gaspo that I thought my brother was guilty. "I still wish I thought he was innocent," I told him. "Life would be a lot easier if I thought that." The column ran on September 7, 2003, while Mike was on trial. Most of my family, all except for Jack, quit communicating with me after that day. I became an outcast.

有罪判决于 10 月 10 日到来。我很惊讶，但意识到尽管有一百万美元的辩护，正义得到了伸张，它表明司法系统确实有效。因为即便一个人富有、白种人、有口才、有教养、聪明，还花费了超过一百万美元，他并不总是能逃脱法网。这是对美国司法系统的致敬。

The guilty verdict came in on October 10. I was surprised, but realized that despite a million dollar defense, justice was served. If anything, it shows that the justice system really does work. Because a person is rich and white and well-spoken and cultured and intelligent and spends over a million dollars, he doesn't always get off. It is a tribute to the justice system in America.

在审判中，辩方谈到了合理的怀疑（笔者注：reasonable doubt）：没有凶器、没有证人。但是有压倒性的证据，而辩方从未正面回应过这个问题。迈克的辩护者们仍然不能（扳倒这些证据）。没有人能解释凯瑟琳脖子前面的软骨骨折，除非是企图勒死的证据。没有人能解释为什么她整个身体上唯一的伤就是头部深深的裂伤和前臂背部的瘀伤。其他地方没有发现瘀伤作为跌倒的证据。丽兹·拉特利夫也是如此。但迈克的捍卫者们一再重复“合理怀疑”。没有人说那天晚上到底发生了什么。毛巾是怎么落到她头下的？擦血是什么时候完成的？凯瑟琳的尸体是怎么翻过来的？没有提供任何答案，仅有“合理的怀疑。”

At trial the defense spoke of reasonable doubt. No murder weapon. No witness. But there was overwhelming evidence, and the defense never addressed that. Mike's defenders still can't. No one can explain the fractured cartilage in the front of Kathleen's neck, except as evidence of a strangulation attempt. No one can explain why the only injuries on her entire body are the deep head lacerations and bruises on the backs of her forearms. No bruises are noted elsewhere as evidence of a fall. The same was true of Liz Ratliff. But Mike's defenders repeat and repeat and repeat "reasonable doubt." Not one person has said what really happened that night. How did towels get under her head? When was the wiping up of blood done? How did Kathleen's body get turned over? No answers get provided. "There was reasonable doubt."

我知道大多数人无法想象他们的兄弟或儿子或父亲可能是冷血杀手。但是每个凶手都有兄弟姐妹和父母。毕竟，杀人犯究竟长什么样子？

I know that most people cannot imagine that their brother or son or father could be a cold-blooded murderer. But every murderer has sisters and brothers and mothers and fathers. After all, what does a murderer look like?

有时我会遇到认识迈克的人。他们看到他的口才和魅力，他们说他不是凶手。这让我很困扰。凶手如果不可能是看起来婚姻幸福的白人、富有、聪明、有教养？那他们看起来应该是怎么样的？

Sometimes I encounter people who have met Mike. They see how well-spoken and charming he is, and they say that he's no murderer. That bothers me a lot. Murderers aren't white, rich, intelligent, cultured men who appear to have happy marriages? What do they look like?

我如果相信我的兄弟是司法系统的受害者而他被错误地指控，那我会是一个平静得多的人。那至少对我来说“更说得通一些”。而知道他确实做了对我而言要难得多。这需要很大的力量。但我睁开眼睛，看着事实和真相。非常痛苦，令人难以置信。我被迫重新审视我的生活，并意识到在过去的 20 年里，我一直生活在这样一个男人的陪伴中，这个男人残忍地谋杀了我的一个朋友，一个美丽善良的女人，然后又谋杀了另一个女人，他美丽、充满活力的妻子。我无法逃避真相。这通常很痛苦，但对我来说却是必要的。

I was a much calmer person believing that my brother was the victim of the justice system, that he was wrongly accused. That at least made sense to me. It is much more difficult for me to know that he did it. It takes a lot of strength. But I opened my eyes and looked at the facts and truth. It is very painful, and it is mind-boggling. I have been forced to reexamine my life, and realize that for the last 20 years that I have been living in the company of a man who brutally murdered a friend of mine, a beautiful, kind-hearted woman, and then murdered another woman, his beautiful, vibrant wife. I can't run away from truth. It is often painful, but it is necessary for me.

Ann Christensen（左）| Michael Peterson（右）

作为一个还挺俗气的人，我热爱“霸总”题材，95版《傲慢与偏见》刷过不知多少遍。

一开始，的确因为是脸叔的新剧，才打开了《阶梯之间》

在看剧之前，我对纪录片，以及“楼梯悬案”一无所知。这也导致了开头十分钟看的我差点睡过去。

主要是“十部悬疑剧，九部杀妻！”这个开头过于俗套。多时间点，多视角叙事，想法很好，但拍出来有点乱。模仿纪录片的拍摄手法也搞的人疲惫不堪。

但第一集拉到一半就开始渐入佳境，能看下去。主要是剧情刺激，反转多。这得益于原版的故事就足够狗血。

“楼梯悬案”美国知名“科学未破解之谜”，有关真凶是谁，至今都能掰扯。而令人玩味的是，这场事故揭开了一个模版式家庭不为人知的另一面。就好比一颗驴粪蛋，表面光可鉴人，内里不腐臭不堪。

这个案子发生在911事件前后。一个女人从自家豪宅的楼梯上跌落，离奇死亡。现场的血迹看起来十分瘆人。发现她跌落并报警的丈夫成为了最大的嫌疑人。

至此，引出了此案件的第一个“要素”就是“名人效应”。作为最大嫌疑人的女人的丈夫迈克是个知名作家。专门写越战背景的小说，还卖出过影视改编版权。甚至在事发前不久还刚竞选过市长。

被怀疑，就会被调查。又是名人八卦，大家都等着看热闹。就这样，一个看似完美的家庭，看似正派的人，背后不堪的过往被一一挖出。

首当其冲的就是在迈克的电脑上，发现了大量露骨的男性照片。还有和同性“密友”调情的聊天记录。

出轨+出柜

而后，人们发现，他在越战中拿到的勋章似乎也是假的。可他写了那么多相关文学，靠这个博得关注，住上豪宅，却原来，引以为傲的荣誉只是一场骗局！

他的经济状况，似乎也不像看上去那么好。老婆的保险金对他来说，搞不好真的很有必要。

最令人啧啧称奇的是，这并不是第一个从楼梯上跌落的女人。20年前在德国，迈克的密友（也是他两个养女的生母）也在楼梯间坠亡，现场同样惨烈，麦克同样是是最后一个见到她的人。

这看起来实在是过分可疑了！可悬案之所以是悬案就在于，一切都合理却偏偏找不到证据，疑似凶器上面没有任何血迹，也不存在目击证人。

你以为狗血仅此而已了吗？并没有，进入司法环节，牵扯出更多的黑幕，丑闻。

围绕着“血迹”这一重要证据，造假的分析报告，对李昌钰这样权威的质疑，各方人物你方唱罢我登场，好不热闹。

最特别的的是，一个法国纪录片制作团队也介入了这个案子，全程跟拍。

这个纪录片，我也顺便找来看了一点。倒是没看出什么门道。不过，比较有争议的点是，纪录片上映时，片子的剪辑师跟迈克本人好上了。

剧里，剪辑师是朱丽叶.比诺什演的。恋爱那段拍的还挺甜的。一直想看脸叔和朱丽叶演个爱情戏，也算是得偿所愿了。

不过，虽然恋爱戏份甜，但纪录片最忌讳的就是“不客观”，剪辑有偏向，提前预设结果明显不够光明正大。

总之，围绕着“阶梯悬案”可供大家拿来作为茶余饭后谈资的要素过于密集。

美国的司法大家都知道，为了说服那“十二怒汉”大家都在煽情。

就如同最近的德普案，看一堆人脸不红，心不跳的朗诵“你喉咙的另外作用”，煞有见识的讨论三斤半的迷你约克夏，拉不拉得出两斤半的排泄物？狗血刺激且低俗，全都是屎尿屁话题。

甚至德普案也有一个楼梯，凯特摩斯还被拉来作证。除了看个乐呵，也不由得感叹“这场官司本质上没有胜者”。因为一旦闹起来，你的一切犄角旮旯，见得光，见不得光的都会暴露在大众面前。

作为纪录片改编而成的电视剧。其实我个人并不是很欣赏那些模仿纪录片的拍摄手法，觉得有点混乱。

但我很喜欢开放式的结局，以及并不下结论这一优点。三种可能性都拍了，意外跌落，迈克就是凶手，以及听起来有点玄幻的猫头鹰的报复。

我当然不会说“事到如今，真相已经不重要了。”这种轻飘飘的话，一条人命，无论怎样都不能说不重要。但围绕着“阶梯悬案”确实有更多真相之外的东西值得玩味。